Tag: Counsellor

Body Image Psychologist
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Transforming body-loathing into self-love

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

Sherry-Lee Smith – Psychologist, Perth WA

Body Image Psychologist

I recently returned to the gym after an extensive time of being away. This time away allowed me to  experience it with new eyes and a little more wisdom. Many of us living in a western society tend to see our body as who we are. We are bombarded by unrealistic ideals about what we should look like and who we should be, as if our body is the most important part of who we are. Guess what? You are not your body nor are you your mind. We tend to over identify with both of these things. Who you really are is the consciousness which can observe both the body and the mind;  the essence that uses the body and the mind as vehicles to fulfil a unique purpose. That is who you really are and what you are here for. This over identification with the body and the mind over our true selves perpetuates a living hell for people who suffer with body image issues. For many of the people I work with whether they come seeking help for eating disorders, compulsive exercise, weight loss difficulties, or body image issues, the gym environment can become a place of self-punishment, body-loathing and self-hatred. Many people on the process of recovery at some point or another want to avoid working out because it triggers their body image issues. However, avoidance isn’t the answer. You can use your triggers to work your way from body-loathing to self-love, taking your focus away from your body image and towards who you really are.

Practical tips to help you on your journey;

  • Refrain from comparing yourself to others. This only perpetuates the preoccupation with your body image and weight. Everyone is on their own journey. Try catching yourself when you compare yourself to others and move your focus of attention elsewhere.
  • Refrain from checking how your body looks. You can focus instead on perfecting your form rather than your body.
  • Engage mindfully in your exercise routine. Exercise can be used as an active meditation. Allow any outside thoughts to come but don’t get attached to them, especially the critical ones about your body. Let them go and refocus your attention on what you are doing.
  • Focus on health, fitness or achievement related goals rather than body image or weight goals. Small goals in these areas will get results faster and keep you motivated.
  • Take your focus away from how many calories you are burning. This only serves to reinforce the cycle the punishment and unhealthy preoccupation with food and weight.
  • Focus on the gift your body gives you. In between sets stop and close your eyes, focus on your heart and become aware of how your heart beats and the gift it is giving you by pumping blood around your body, keeping you alive and well. This act of gratitude towards the body shifts your focus from body-loathing to self-love. Love and appreciate everything it has to offer. Even if you don’t believe it at first, find something to be grateful for.
  • Find some time to contemplate your positive qualities and how you can use them to serve others. Focus on your strengths and the gifts you have to give the world.
  • Remember that the body is merely a vehicle. It deserves your love, respect and a healthy lifestyle but at the end on the day it’s really just a means to an end. It’s meant to help you accomplish something far more important than looking good. You are so much more than your body. Find the magnificence within you.

Sherry-Lee Smith is a psychologist who works in private practice in Mt Lawley, Perth WA. Sherry is available for consultations with eating disorders, body image issues (including body dysmorphia or muscle dysmorphia), weight loss difficulties, compulsive exercise as well as other mental health issues. If you would like further information about her services please click here.

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Parenting Psychologist Perth
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Ditch the mummy guilt – Why we need to push through it

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

Sherry-Lee Smith – Psychologist Perth WA

I wrote this post after many conversations with mummy friends and mummy clients. I get the impression we all feel ‘mummy guilt’ at one time or another. I am usually the type of person that’s pretty good at fighting for my own needs (think unbelievably stubborn), but sinceParenting Psychologist Perth becoming a parent I have a little child who also DEMANDS that her needs are met (WITHOUT DELAY! You know, as they do!). Being a working mum it has taken me some time to find the right balance between meeting my own needs and meeting her needs and the family needs. I felt incredibly guilty for going back to work and pursuing my own passions in my career. Then over time I felt like I still needed more for myself. I was watching other mums on social media who were getting fit, expanding their businesses, increasing their qualifications or following their dreams in other ways. For quite some time I felt envious of these ventures and that was enough to tell me that I needed something in my life to change. Our family, not knowing how we could fit one more thing into our seemingly impossible schedule, found a way to squeeze a little more ‘mummy me time’ in, in the form of yoga, the gym, mummy only coffee dates, or quite time for spiritual reflection. A couple of weeks after I made this a priority rather than a privilege I notice a major shift in myself and my capacity to give back to my family.

This lead me to my new mantra ‘ditch the mummy guilt’. It’s okay to feel guilty, we feel this way  because we are good mums who are accustomed to giving everything we have to our families. However, we owe it to ourselves and our families to push through the mummy guilt and do anything, absolutely anything to fill your own ‘cup’. Whether that’s exercise, art, spiritual practices, further education, or business ventures, it doesn’t matter. It’s important for our children to see a happy fulfilled role model, a strong woman that follows her dreams and takes care of herself. After all isn’t that what we want for them.  There is no job more demanding on a person than that of a parent. We deserve to be happy and fulfilled. By taking the time to meet our own needs and desires we will be a better partners and mothers.  Don’t suppress the guilt, feel the guilt and walk right through it. Hear your soul sing as you realign yourself with who you really are and let that love flow right through you and back to your family. If you are feeling called to do something there is no time like the present. Go on, you can do it!

Sherry-Lee Smith is a psychologist, mother and gentle parenting advocate. She works in private practice in Mt Lawley, Perth WA. Sherry is available for consultations with children, adolescents and adults. If you would like further information about her services please click here.

Child Anxiety Treatment Perth Psychologist
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Go Away Mr Worry – A Step Towards Managing Childhood Anxiety

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

Sherry-Lee Smith – Psychologist Perth WAChild Anxiety Treatment Perth Psychologist

I had an interesting conversation with the strong willed Miss 3.5 this morning. It was a usual morning, struggling to get her ready to leave the house and her not wanting to clean her teeth (AGAIN!). I noticed she had run off to her bedroom while I was getting ready.  I went to ask why she wasn’t brushing her teeth, and she answered that she was worried daddy was going to get hurt at work. One part of me was saddened, such a little person was worrying about something going wrong. Another part however felt proud that she was able to articulate so clearly what she was thinking and feeling and happy that she was able to share it with me. I took the opportunity to teach her something I have taught so many other young children who present to my clinic with anxiety issues. So I knelt down next to her and put my hand on her should and said to her ‘Oh I see,  Mr Worries has come to visit you. He likes to say things to children that make them feel worried or scared.  And he’s a bit of a trickster and doesn’t always tell the truth’. She looked at me, quite intrigued, so I continued ‘I wonder if he’s telling the truth this time’, I looked at her with a questioning look on my face ‘Daddy doesn’t normally get hurt at work, does he?’ , she shook her head ‘Well I think that maybe Mr Worries is tricking you, and when he does that we need to tell him to go away, can you tell him to go away?’ and she answered ‘Go away Mr Worry’ in a stern voice, straightened up her posture, smiled and then continued on with her morning routine.

It is important when children talk to you about their worries to validate what they are experiencing , rather than just dismissing it with ‘don’t be silly’. This opens up an opportunity to teach them important life skills. One of the first things I do with children is help them externalise their worries, giving it a name, like ‘Mr Worry’, or the ‘Worry Monster’. This helps them gain some psychological distance from the anxiety. It also helps you position yourself with your child and against their anxiety. You can then teach them to talk back to the anxiety, knowing that the anxious mind tends to distort thinking and perceptions about reality. Once you have opened up the dialogue around their worries whenever they need it, you can work towards playing games with them around the worry thoughts to help them further process and overcome these fears. For example, if they like superheros, you can get them use a spider man web to shoot the worry thought up to the roof or if they like fairies, shake a magic wand at the worry thought and make it go up in a puff of smoke. The more creative and fun you can make it for them the better. Help them out, play the game with them.

This is a good place to start in helping children manage their anxieties. If their anxiety is ongoing and persistent, i.e. getting in the way of their everyday functioning, it’s good idea to consult with a child therapist about how to proceed.

Perth Binge Eating Psychologist Counsellor Psychotherapist Sherry-Lee Smith

Sherry-Lee Smith is a psychologist, mother and gentle parenting advocate. She works in private practice in Mt Lawley, Perth WA. Sherry is available for parent consultations and child psychotherapy. If you would like further information about her services please click here.

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Anxiety Panic Attacks Panic Disorder

Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder – Part 6/6 Tips to help with Panic Attacks

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

Tips to help with panic attacks

  • Slow your breathing down as much as possible – try breathing through a straw or into a paper bag. Take slow deep breaths
  • Remind yourself that the panic attack is temporary and it will pass
  • Educate yourself on anxiety and panic attacks
  • Avoid nicotine and caffeine as much as possible
  • Recognise that you are beginning to panic, remind yourself you are not in danger and that panic attacks aren’t life threatening
  • Remember that you aren’t alone, lots of other people also suffer from panic attacks
  • Relax your body as much as possible
  • Focus on something other than your body and the symptoms. Try naming one thing around you that starts with each letter of the alphabet
  • Meditation or yoga can be helpful in teaching you to relax
  • As much as possible try not to avoid situations where panic has happened
  • Make exercise a regular part of your daily schedule
  • Talk to your GP to ensure there aren’t any medical conditions that might be causing your symptoms.

If you are experiencing any difficulties with anxiety, panic attacks or other mental health issues and would like help please contact Sherry-Lee Smith on 042 135 1020 or smith.sherrylee@gmail.com

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Mt Lawley Counselling Centre

13 Alvan St

Mt Lawley, Perth Western Australia 6050

Sherry-Lee Smith

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Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder – What are panic attacks or anxiety attacks – Part 2/6

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

Sherry-Lee Smith

Registered Psychologist

Perth, Western Australia

What are panic attacks or anxiety attacks?

When an abrupt surge of intense anxiety happens, a person is said to have had a panic attack (also sometimes referred to as anxiety attacks). The anxiety reaches a peak within several minutes and can last for up to half an hour. During this state of intense apprehension 4 or more of the following physiological and psychological symptoms may occur;

  • Increase in heart rate
  • Sweating
  • Shaking or trembling
  • Feelings of choking
  • Breathlessness
  • Pain or discomfort in the chest
  • Nausea
  • Hot or cold sensations in the body
  • Feeling light headed or dizzy
  • Tingling or numbness
  • Feeling like things aren’t real or detached from oneself
  • Fear of dying
  • Fear of losing control

A panic attack can start from a previously calm state or an anxious state. In any one year, around 11% of adults are thought to experience panic attacks. They can occur in the context of any mental health issue and are therefore quite common. They can be expected (triggered by an event, thought, situation etc.) or unexpected (where there is no obvious trigger).

If you are experiencing any difficulties with anxiety, panic attacks or other mental health issues and would like help please contact Sherry-Lee Smith on 042 135 1020 or smith.sherrylee@gmail.com

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Mt Lawley Counselling Centre

13 Alvan St

Mt Lawley, Perth Western Australia 6050

 

Sherry-Lee Smith

Registered Psychologist

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OCD – Tips for family members and friends Part 6/6

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

 

  • Learn as much as you can about OCD
  • Take care of yourself and seek professional help if you need it
  • Try not to participate in their rituals – this only reinforces and entrenches OCD symptoms
  • Try not to let OCD take over the family or relationship
  • Criticism and negative comments can make OCD worse – try to create a calm and supportive environment
  • Acknowledge improvements however small
  • A non-judgemental attitude is helpful
  • Try viewing OCD as separate from the person not like a character flaw
  • Remember that it is normal to feel frustrated, angry or resentful when OCD interferes with your life
  • Encourage the person to talk about their OCD so you know how it affects them and how you can help
  • Encourage your loved one to get professional help

 

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OCD – Tips to help with OCD Part 5/6

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

 

  • Postpone OCD rituals whenever you can – this will assist you in learning to sit with the anxiety
  • Remember that unpleasant feelings always reduce when given enough time
  • When you notice an obsessive thought arising, refocus your attention to something else
  • Write down obsessive thoughts or worries
  • Anticipate OCD urges– know your triggers and help yourself resist the compulsion by creating mental pictures or notes that remind you the compulsion is unnecessary (for example when you lock the door, make a mental picture of the locked door and say to yourself “the door is now locked”)
  • Try slowly cutting back on compulsive behaviour. If you check 10 times that the door is locked, try checking 8 times and then 6 etc.
  • Reduce your vulnerability to OCD by eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise and enough sleep
  • Try not to isolate yourself
  • Make friends with your OCD – get to know your triggers, the more you can anticipate and identify OCD thoughts the more power you will have to manage your OCD
  • Practise relaxation techniques
  • Limit intake of alcohol and nicotine
  • Manage the stress in your life – OCD symptoms tend to get worse when you are under stress

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OCD – How medical treatment or counselling/psychotherapy can help – Part 4/6

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

Severe OCD is a difficult condition to treat. It is common for suffers of OCD to hide their symptoms and treat it like a secret problem. Nonetheless it is important to seek treatment from medical and psychological professionals. With perseverance most patients can expect some reduction in symptoms. However, it is common for some level of symptoms to persist despite treatment and relapse of symptoms in stressful times can be problematic.

OCD can often be successfully treated with a combination of medical and psychological interventions. People with OCD may be prescribed antidepressants know as serotonin reuptake inhibitors (such as Prozac or Zoloft) or tricyclic antidepressants (such as Anafranil). Improvements usually take up to 6 weeks and it is recommended that medication should be continued for a minimum or 6 months and sometimes for 1-2 years. If you are considering medication for OCD you should discuss this with a medical professional such as a general practitioner (GP) or psychiatrist.

Various psychological treatments may be helpful for reducing symptoms of OCD. Intervening at any point in the OCD cycle can improve functioning. Psychological treatment may address any of following;

  • Relaxation techniques
  • Clarifying and addressing underlying relationship problems
  • Thought-stopping techniques
  • Psychoeducation
  • Recognising and correcting unhelpful thinking patterns
  • Developing alternative coping strategies
  • Behavioural experiments (designed to encourage helpful thinking patterns)
  • Exposure to anxiety provoking experiences with the aim of reducing anxiety
  • Problem-solving
  • Recognising and relabeling obsessive thoughts
  • Correcting unhelpful beliefs that underlie OCD symptoms
  • Breaking negative reinforcement cycles of OCD
  • Reducing stress
  • Developing alternative anxiety management strategies
  • Developing emotion regulation skills
  • Identifying and addressing factors that trigger or exacerbate OCD symptoms
  • Developing realistic ways of viewing reality
  • Addressing feelings of ambivalence towards the self and building a more integrated and differentiated view of the self and others

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OCD – Factors that contribute to the development of OCD Part 3/6

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

Factors that contribute to the development of OCD

OCD is a complex neurobiological disorder. There are various factors thought to influence the development of OCD. It is most likely an interaction between biological, psychological and social factors. Some of the factors thought to contribute to the development of OCD are:

  • A genetic predisposition
  • Ineffective functioning in the frontal cortex area of the brain
  • Serotonin imbalances
  • Intrapsychic conflict – conflict occurring within the mind
  • Ambivalent sense of self – difficulty managing contradictory aspects of the self
  • Personality characteristics – see next section
  • Cognitive distortions/information processing errors – such as black and white thinking, perceiving things as more negative or less positive than they are, only paying attention to information that confirms a negative view, making guesses about the future and negative events, believing you know other people’s intentions
  • Traumatic events in early childhood
  • Stressful life events – such as the death of someone close, divorce, moving house, pregnancy etc.

Personality characteristics and thinking patterns commonly seen in people with OCD include;

  • Perfectionism/criticalness – belief towards themselves and other that mistakes are unacceptable and perfection is desirable
  • Excessive conscientiousness
  • Strong need for control and autonomy
  • Overemphasis of intellectual processes – thinking that the presence of a thought increases the likelihood that an event will happen
  • Rigidity
  • Inflated sense of responsibility and guilt – a belief that a person has the ability to cause or prevent negative outcomes
  • Intolerance of uncertainty – believing that it is possible and necessary to be certain that undesired events do not happen
  • Overestimation of danger – thinking danger is more likely to happen than it is

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OCD – OCD in Children and Adolescents Part 2/6

Sherry-Lee Smith Child, Adolescent, Adult, Psychologist. Perth, WA

OCD in children and adolescents

The prevalence of OCD in children and adolescents is 1-3% of the population, similar to the number of adults who suffer from this debilitating condition. However many more have obsessive compulsive tendencies that are not clinically diagnosable but are noticeable nonetheless. OCD in children is often not identified and treated in a timely manner. This is often due to symptoms being mistaken for other behavioural problems, such as not handing in homework or taking too long completing work because it needs to be perfect, resistance to completing chores due to fear of contamination or refusing to go to sleep because rituals haven’t been completed. Furthermore children are often reluctant to discuss their fears openly and tend not to have insight into the irrational and excessive nature of their thoughts and behaviour.

Sherry-Lee Smith Perth Psychologist Website